Ukko

@eris@p.enes.lv

This is an alt of @Ukko@akko.disqordia.space

latvian, in their 25s, monogam, straight, he/him lesbian, ace-spec, slut. anarcho-monarchist. A theymab transtrender. I speak lv/en/ru but can pretend to understand other languages sometimes.

admin of this instance, don't ask for an invite unless you're a frien :3

the sadistic playful puppy you’ve been warned about.

Ionizing particles, true Ukkos, fake Erises, and Disqordians DNI

Minors: please consult with your parent(s)/guardian before following and/or interacting; and please do not interact with lewd and/or sexual content unless you are of the age of majority

Current PFP is dead Marsey
Previous PFP is A.B.A. from Guilty Gear Strive
Previous² PFP was some image 40 sent me
Previous³ PFP was https://www.kotobukiya.co.jp/en/product/detail/p4934054034673/
Previous⁴ PFP was https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47773488/

My ducal court:

Wife Mother: @wife@p.enes.lv
The cheetah sitting in the corner of the court room: @f_o_u_r_t_y@shrine.moe
The messenger to the realms: @meso@the.asbestos.cafe
Translator: [Insert une's goreslut username]

Found my unfunny quotes
"@ukko what" — @ezio@akko.wtf
'I thought "ukko" was a Indonesian gal?' — Cent
"@Ukko did you have to post this?" - Jade Disarray
"@Ukko ukko." - @mia@void.rehab

CC @une@cawfee.club

eriscon is not happening
Main@Ukko@akko.disqordia.space
Pronounceshe/he
XMPPukko@hollow.capital
Telegramgirlwife
📌 3 ★ 1 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

I am too lazy to copy followers so if i forget you or if i forget your username and your instance tells me i need to log in to look at your local timeline, too bad

📌 3 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

yes i actually DDOSed Disqordia

[GIF of Walter White saying "I won"]

2 messages from eris "I knew you did it", and "You win 😅"
0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

And then I freaked it

bl00d »
@bl00d@yourwalls.today

software update my lights and ready to start

...

affine »
@affine@yourwalls.today

@bl00d why do your lights have software?

...

bl00d »
@bl00d@yourwalls.today

@affine radar on the back

0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

@affine@yourwalls.today you mean to say your display doesn't have any software running it? @bl00d@yourwalls.today

trump »
@trump@bae.st

> This is a collection of flags for attractions to groups of people (such as subculture communities, political groups, members of institutions) etc, and behavioral patterns, such as sexuality, criminal offenses etc.
this website is fucking hillarious
image.png

image.png
...
trump boosted

Lamp »
@lamp@kitty.haus

@trump where is Miku Attracted Person flag

...
0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

@lamp@kitty.haus miku is an alien and she is kinda spacey coming from the universe to party and go crazy @trump@bae.st

Ukko boosted

ANNA is UTOPIA!! »
@anathema@brain.worm.pink

my boyfriend

a few text messages
"i missed u and i wanted to see if you were up so we could maybe chat or something"
"do you still have a crush on me ...?"
"do you like me"
screenshot of a tweet from @matumland: my girlfriend keeps FEEDING this overweight RACCOON under her deck because she "cares about him" (skull emojis) i find THIS today (picture of a piece of bread left out on a deck with goldfish crackers arrayed in a heart on top)
...
0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Me as a boyfriend

trump »
@trump@bae.st

oh boy another new follower soon to block me

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Lamp »
@lamp@kitty.haus

@trump who

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trump »
@trump@bae.st

@lamp idk someone

0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

It's me

CC: @trump@bae.st

0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Nothing ever happens

0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

I think pernia went too far this time, drones to israel??? Twisted

7 ★ 5 ↺
affine boosted

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Call me a Maiar system the way the me within the mirror tells the me without that i shall not pass

...
0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

hm

...
0 ★ 1 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Shit's broken

yassie_swag »
@yassie_j@labyrinth.zone

I’m the scroll lock key on your keyboard

...
2 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

You're missing

UsernameSwift »
@usernameswift@pleromer.net

It's truly unfortunate to find out that you don't exist

2 ★ 1 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

...
Ukko boosted

ANNA is UTOPIA!! »
@anathema@brain.worm.pink

@eris all of human society has been engineered to create the most generic pop song possible to entertain an alien traveling from one end of the universe to another

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2 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

FUCK IMAGINE

Arcana boosted

Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

...
Older...

Arcana »
@arcana@fedi.layer02.net

@Paulajak @lucy my favorites are woman centric it seems

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@arcana @lucy the joke is new brainworms, this isn't too representative because of the very specific data they are using

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Arcana »
@arcana@fedi.layer02.net

@Paulajak @lucy well yes and traditionally harps were commonly associated with men such as the Welsh bards

Paulajak boosted

⚗️alchemist⚗️ »
@ai@cawfee.club

@Paulajak @lucy Seems women are good at plucking and stroking while men are better at blowing and banging

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@ai @lucy ✍️🔥🔥🔥

David Powers »
@TURBORETARD9000@bae.st

@Paulajak @lucy there's no saxophone

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@TURBORETARD9000 @lucy i dont even know what a saxophone is

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lucy [🧶 era] »
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

@Paulajak @TURBORETARD9000 is this a reference or joke im not getting

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@lucy @TURBORETARD9000 no im just that stupid

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David Powers »
@TURBORETARD9000@bae.st

@Paulajak @lucy this is making me CRY Paula how can you not know the SEXYPHONE

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@TURBORETARD9000 @lucy i know its one you blow but they are all so similar

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@TURBORETARD9000 @lucy they are all the same idea who cares

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lucy [🧶 era] »
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

@Paulajak @TURBORETARD9000 did you just have that image lying around or what

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@lucy @TURBORETARD9000 i just drew it i love drawing
i think the fact i absolutely suck at it makes it funny

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David Powers »
@TURBORETARD9000@bae.st

@Paulajak @lucy I want to make those drawings real because I bet they sound as funny as they look

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Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@TURBORETARD9000 @lucy i'd make a blow digital instrument
you blow into it and the sounds come out of a speaker
kinda like an electric guitar or something
it'd also be big and clunky to use

David Powers »
@TURBORETARD9000@bae.st

@Paulajak @lucy > but they are all so similar
I'm going to rape you

OK on the serious side, a saxophone is a
- conical bore (as of a hollow cone, like a clarinet)
- single reed (as opposed to multiple reeds, like an oboe, or no reeds, like a trumpet)
Woodwind instrument
Husky_1712787330870_421CNVH5DP.jpg

Husky_1712787330870_421CNVH5DP.jpg
...

Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@TURBORETARD9000 @lucy >i'm going to rape you
🥺👉👈

1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Saxophone is not an instrument that's played in symphonic orchestras, clarinets would be the most similar I think

CC: @Paulajak@boymoder.biz @lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

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David Powers »
@TURBORETARD9000@bae.st

@eris @Paulajak @lucy tfw I wasn't paying attention to who did the study

Ukko boosted

UsernameSwift »
@usernameswift@pleromer.net

Wikipedia, terrorism [SENSITIVE CONTENT]English Wikipedia: "nyaa~"
French Wikipedia: "On this date in 2015, a series of Islamic State suicide attacks took place in Paris."

...

NotSludgeBomb »
@notsludgebomb@woem.space

re: Wikipedia, terrorism

@usernameswift i love that “Wikipedia” is a content warning before “terrorism”

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UsernameSwift »
@usernameswift@pleromer.net

re: Wikipedia, terrorism [SENSITIVE CONTENT]One is more dangerous than the other

1 ★ 0 ↺
in reply to »

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

How charred is your toast that it has noticeably less carbs than bread

CC: @ezio@akko.wtf

2 ★ 0 ↺
in reply to »

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

That's not how you were supposed to read the n-word

13 ★ 12 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Please send prayers, having eating urges

Trad niggas at the TL post w the Dear Diary vibes agressive af. "Please send prayers, having masturbation urges" nigga what?!
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Ukko boosted

failfemme wrenchgirl »
@kim@linfan.moe

@eris the amount of crying laughing emojis reminds me of this

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failfemme wrenchgirl »
@kim@linfan.moe

@eris oh no didnt crop its over

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2 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

It ain't crop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

CC: @kim@linfan.moe

0 ★ 1 ↺

wife »
@wife@p.enes.lv

@meso@netzsphaere.xyz have you ever considered being a woman

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meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@wife i have but i feel better as a guy

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0 ★ 1 ↺

wife »
@wife@p.enes.lv

Arcana »
@arcana@fedi.layer02.net

@meso @wife >I have

Deep lore?

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meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@arcana @wife obviously being surrounded by trannies makes you think oh maybe i am too but like no just not for me i dont get why so many people around here are trans thats quite a high incidence of that

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meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@arcana @wife probably some correlation with autism or somtehing

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Arcana »
@arcana@fedi.layer02.net

@meso @wife I think it’s more that there’s a network effect and so people invite their friends from elsewhere

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2 ★ 1 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

GROOMER ALERT (may reference?)

CC: @meso@netzsphaere.xyz

yassie_swag »
@yassie_j@labyrinth.zone

Reddit moment

from: r/hypotheticalsituation

You get 1 trillion dollars, but so does a completely random homeless man
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yassie_swag »
@yassie_j@labyrinth.zone

Do not understand why this is a problem lol

I get a trillion and some… Random person gets it too? Okay? What’s the problem?

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1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

More inflation because it's two trillion not just one trillion

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yassie_swag »
@yassie_j@labyrinth.zone

@eris I think at this point, like, economic inflation is the least of my problems

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1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Well that was the only thing I could think of

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yassie_swag »
@yassie_j@labyrinth.zone

@eris I’d give you some cash ukko <3

yassie_swag »
@yassie_j@labyrinth.zone

Who is to say that I wouldn’t spend a trillion dollars on drugs too?

A. He is poor. If you deny his money, you deny his access to a house, food, etc. B. Homeless people are more prone to mental illness and drug abuse.

trump »
@trump@bae.st

i ran out of šņabis its officially over @eris latvian word reference

...
3 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

"i'm not an alcoholic anymore" people drinking a bottle of vodka in 4 days

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UsernameSwift »
@usernameswift@pleromer.net

In Russia that might as well be the same as never having consumed alcohol

trump »
@trump@bae.st

@eris i drank a bottle of vodka in one night actually

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0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

That isn't any better, dear :(

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trump »
@trump@bae.st

@eris why not

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1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

why are you turning yourself back into an alcoholic :(

do i have to come over and beat some sense into you?

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Idiot Happiness Spiral »
@prettygood@socially.drinkingatmy.computer

@eris @trump I never met an alcoholic that couldn't have benefited from getting the shit kicked out of them at least once.

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trump boosted

Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

@prettygood @trump @eris getting drunk as hell and getting beaten sounds like a dream

...

trump »
@trump@bae.st

@Paulajak @eris @prettygood it iS! i used to do some seriously awful shit durnk nand get beaten na and it was OS SO based

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Idiot Happiness Spiral »
@prettygood@socially.drinkingatmy.computer

@trump @Paulajak @eris JFC you two I mean in the sense of having some sense knocked into you not getting your rocks off.

...
1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

trump »
@trump@bae.st

@eris idk...
its been years since i was alcoholic im sure its fine though

...
1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

you chugged down a bottle of vodka alone, that isn't fine

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trump »
@trump@bae.st

@eris it was a small 0,2L bottle and quite frankly it wasnt near enough

...
0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Because you've been getting drunk every evening

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1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

I don't drink often anymore so I can immediately get wasted from anything, much more fun that way

CC: @trump@bae.st

Idiot Happiness Spiral »
@prettygood@socially.drinkingatmy.computer

@trump @eris ... okay yeah no that's not a lot of vodka. Less concerned.

Angry Sun »
@sun@shitposter.world

shitposter.world now requires you to submit your 23andme results to ensure that you genetically meet our demanding posting standards.

...
1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

what are the genetic requirements?

...

™️¥ »
@tomey@shitposter.world

@eris @sun at least 30% weeb and/or NEET

ワフ »
@waifu@mai.waifuism.life

...
1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

LMFAOOO WHADDAHELL

4 ★ 2 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Tonight the role of wife will be played by may

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2 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Oh I am not fucking may, don't worry guys, my wife is just eating some random cough pills her friends gave her and is complaining about how she will die if she keeps sitting at the table

Ukko boosted

ワフ »
@waifu@mai.waifuism.life

No description

»
@MercurialBlack@pleroma.mercurial.blog

PEP 8110, "Remove irrelevant exponentiation operator, can be computed with simpler f(x,y) = y == 0 ? 1 : x * f(x,(y-1)). If y is a non-natural, you're programming in the wrong language."

...
0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

April Fools innit?

...

»
@MercurialBlack@pleroma.mercurial.blog

@eris PEP 8405, "Instead of __main__, each file now has a randomized name guaranteed to be unique amongst all python files."

3 ★ 4 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

...

trump »
@trump@bae.st

@eris @lebronjames75 @vaartis literally me im so doomer pilled
sitting in awe at the beauty of the orthodox cathedral tho

...
1 ★ 1 ↺
trump boosted

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Bomzis-coded, sitting in esplanāde, staring at the unfinished golden roofs of the cathedral

CC: @vaartis@pl.kotobank.ch @lebronjames75@shitposter.world

0 ★ 2 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Do you think Frank Herbert went to Turkey and got absolutely wasted before or after naming dune (Ar)Rakis ?

...

bl00d »
@bl00d@yourwalls.today

@eris during body load

...
1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

You wouldn't download a body

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affine »
@affine@yourwalls.today

@eris @bl00d of course not, you buy a body and upload your soul into it.

...

bl00d »
@bl00d@yourwalls.today

@affine @eris altered carbon reference

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iced quinn »
@icedquinn@blob.cat

@bl00d @eris @affine just switch bodies when they get sick

...

affine »
@affine@yourwalls.today

@icedquinn @eris @bl00d only if you have the money for that, though.

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bl00d »
@bl00d@yourwalls.today

@affine @icedquinn @eris yeah, it’s expensive af

trump boosted

Paulajak »
@Paulajak@boymoder.biz

...
Paulajak boosted

trump »
@trump@bae.st

@Paulajak @lucy weaselgirls stay weaseling though

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lucy [🧶 era] »
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

liquorice for breakfast

...
2 ★ 1 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Hey @wife@p.enes.lv look it me

...
0 ★ 1 ↺
Ukko boosted

wife »
@wife@p.enes.lv

meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@lucy gas station liquorice

...
Ukko boosted

lucy [🧶 era] »
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

@meso you mean a gas station licked that rizz

VIPPER »
@VIPPER@the.asbestos.cafe

Feeling extra Bulgarian today.

...

lucy [🧶 era] »
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

@VIPPER bread soup

...

VIPPER »
@VIPPER@the.asbestos.cafe

@lucy Was meso's bread soup any good?

...

lucy [🧶 era] »
@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz

@VIPPER lowkey yes

...

affine »
@affine@yourwalls.today

@lucy @VIPPER
meso: I boiled bread.
lucy: Awww you're so sweet!
ukko: I boiled bread with cheese.
lucy: HELLO HUMAN RESOURCES???!!!!

...

meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@affine @lucy @VIPPER no its the other way around i boiled bread with cheese

...

affine »
@affine@yourwalls.today

@meso @lucy @VIPPER wait @eris your soup had no cheese?

...
1 ★ 1 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

It did, wrong kind of cheese, I admit, but it did have cheese. Thatt's why i called it "boiled sandwich"

CC: @lucy@netzsphaere.xyz @meso@netzsphaere.xyz @VIPPER@the.asbestos.cafe

...

affine »
@affine@yourwalls.today

@eris @lucy @meso @VIPPER what is the right kind of cheese to boil with bread and what did you use instead?

...
2 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Harder cheese is better bcs it dissolves better, mine was pretty soft and melty like good for grilled cheese, but so there were a lot of lumps and I didn't really bother breaking them up as it was really an experiment not following a recipe. I bet Meso's recipe is much better (or Lucy is actually afraid of him so that's why she says all those things).

CC: @lucy@netzsphaere.xyz @meso@netzsphaere.xyz @VIPPER@the.asbestos.cafe

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meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@eris @affine @lucy @VIPPER dude it's not supposed to dissolve

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meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@eris @VIPPER @affine @lucy you're supposed to use white brine cheese

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affine boosted

meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@VIPPER @affine @eris @lucy feta or sirene or whatever's available. we have sirene in bulgaria because we're not greeks and this is our own thing

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1 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

...
Ukko boosted

Komnene »
@Komnene@cawfee.club

@meso @lucy @eris @VIPPER @affine different balkaners doing their own thing

0 ★ 0 ↺

Ukko »
@eris@p.enes.lv

Idk i was going for a different vibe then

CC: @lucy@netzsphaere.xyz @VIPPER@the.asbestos.cafe @affine@yourwalls.today

girlretard »
@marine@breastmilk.club

@affine @lucy @VIPPER why thr FUCK are we boiling bread? Fucking weirdos

...

meso [Classic era] »
@meso@netzsphaere.xyz

@lucy @VIPPER my grandma made me some today it does not taste good idk why but it never tastes good. i should make some myself. it might be the cheese or the amount of it, or it might be me eating it too late so the salt from the cheese dissolves in the water

myrmepropagandist »
@futurebird@sauropods.win

OMG look who I met on my walk to the bus stop this morning! It’s a little brown snake or garter snake??(not venomous, small, gentle, native) Look at this amazing New Yorker! So cute. They were sunning on the sidewalk so I moved them to a warm hidden rock. I worry someone will kill it just for being a snake. Happily the school kids who stopped to watch were delighted if a little scared. This snake has made my day!

...
Ukko boosted

myrmepropagandist »
@futurebird@sauropods.win

This little snake will never know how happy it made me or how precious they are. Eat lots of snails little one!

Closer view of the snake in the lush moss of the wall over the long lost brook.
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Arcana boosted

myrmepropagandist »
@futurebird@sauropods.win

Have a special bonus NYC Dekay’s brown snake. This snake has a metrocard and can tell you what the best off broadway shows are.

A medium sized snake rests on the sidewalk with their little black tongue out sniffing the air.
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Arcana »
@arcana@fedi.layer02.net

@futurebird I started looking at this image from the tail onwards and until I reached the head to me it looked like it was a crack in the ground of sorts. Interesting

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